Kicking the Habit

I dreaded it. I spent 3 months worrying and about the moment I would have to do it. How would he react? Would it throw off his temperament and completely wreak havoc on his sleep schedule that we had spent so much time getting just right? Would we have to start over? These thoughts kept me up all night. For months.

What is this terrible thing? Taking away his bottle.

We had done a bad thing and gotten into the habit of giving him his bottle in his crib and letting him put himself to sleep. I know, go ahead and throw some terrible parent points this way. So with this awesome little routine, you can see how I would be dreading messing a bad thing, right?

So we phased out the bottle. Cups during the day but still bottles at night, just not in the crib. We would sit up with him and give him his bottle at night with the light on so that he had to figure out putting himself down without a bottle with him. It only took a few nights and it wasn't as brutal as the original sleep training. Sweet. Now for the big one, no bottles AT ALL.

I was cautious and trying my very best to appear non-chalant as I handed him a sippy cup full of milk (that's right, no more magic powder!) with his dinner. He gulped it down (predictably). So there he is, full belly and sleepy. I conduct the rest of the bed time routine. Bath, lotion, PJs, book. Then I hold my breath as I put him down. He cries AT me, of course. I walk out and hunker down, expecting a very long night. So imagine my surprise when before I can finish loading the dishwasher, there is sweet sweet silence. Huh? That wasn't supposed to happen. But I'll take it!

So surely this couldn't happen 2 nights in a row, right? That was a total fluke! Same scene the next night. Put him down and five minutes later...silence! It wasn't a fluke! IT WASN'T A FLUKE!!!!

What does a mother do at this point you ask? Pack up every bottle and put in the cabinet I can only reach with a step stool, because I'm not pulling out those puppies for quite some time.

Now where's my wine?

Gavin's Birthday

I have a history of crawling into a shell of denial when I get scared of something. For example, when I was going off to college and was (secretly) scared out of my mind, I didn't end up packing until midnight the night before. That's right. I packed everything in the middle of the night. In some weird area of my mind, I figured that if I didn't pack, it wouldn't really happen. Of course it did and I was left unprepared and frazzled instead of prepared and frazzled.

Well, history has repeated itself over and over since then with Gavin's first birthday being the most recent example. While all of the other mommys were sending out invitations and planning, I was twiddling my thumbs. Why? Because my baby boy couldn't possibly be turning one already. Nope. Not happening. So why plan a party for something that isn't happening, right? Wrong. He turned one. It happened. You know what else happened? The day before the "big day" I went into the dollar store in a panic trying to buy up a few party supplies to spruce up the apartment so that I felt like a little bit less of a failure.

We ended up having a few presents (a beach ball, snacks, matchbox cars, etc) a cake and some balloons. Enough to get pictures and feel like something happened. So why did I feel like the worst mother on the planet?

There are some pros to having a quiet celebration of just us and my mom and step-dad. He's going to have many many birthday parties that will demand a lot of time and money. At this point, the party is for the adults and if this adult didn't want it, well, that's enough of a reason not to have one. Right? We went to a birthday party for a little boy that was born the same day that Gavin was and it was....perfect. Not too big, not too much fanfare and it was age appropriate. His mom and dad did a great job and we all enjoyed ourselves. I just don't feel it is something that I need to do or something that our family even wants. Oh and the above mentioned denial.

To summarize, denial + lack of desire = no big party. So what's with the mommy guilt? Gah, mommy guilt is eeevvvvillll!

Back on the Wagon!

I've missed blogging oh so much the past few months! I stopped because I barely had enough energy for my family and I didn't want to favor a blog over them. Once I figured more time in my schedule, I wasn't sure how to jump back in. Should I start a new blog? Should I come up with a big dramatic story to explain my absence? What do I say? How do I start again?

Like this......I'M BACK!