Friday, November 25, 2011

Y3W: Poor Sick Baby

I was hoping yesterday was a fluke and that Gavin would feel better today, but it was worse. The silver lining is that Robert and I are off work anyway so we don't have to burn up any sick time, plus we get to battle it together, which always makes things easier.

Robert and I have been unbelievably lucky. I mean, stupid lucky. Gavin has never had colic or crying fits. Ever. So this is our first time dealing with hours upon hours of hysterics. Honestly, I'm so worn out from today that it's hard to even write this blog post. Gavin cried himself into 15 hours of sleep last night and he walked to his crib tonight.

We are going to the pediatrician tomorrow, the doctor on call said it sounds like it can wait until then. Just for the record, this is the 6th time I have been to the doctor or hospital in 8 days. That's just insane.

So here's to Gavin and I feeling better soon.

Linking up with Jenni From The Blog (can't link on iPad, so visit her by going to

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving Thankful Thursday

Theres nothing like a swift kick of perspective in your ass on Thanksgving morning. I mean really, it's like a script. I kind of feel like I'm in a corny movie.

Gavin had a fever that spiked to 103.1 last night which he's never had before (thankfully) so we took him to the pediatrician to be sure it was just a cold and nothing more serious. Luckily, our pediatrician's office is open until 8 for just this scenario (thankfully). She did a strep test and the rapid was a negative (thankfully). She said he probably was just battling a nasty cold and to just keep up the Tylenol (thankfully).

About halfway through the morning, the poor little guy started screaming in pain for no reason and then he'd stop for 5 minutes and then scream for 10 and stop for 7. You get the idea. This went on for a few hours and we were starting to worry. Mostly because he stopped eating, which, well, my child has NEVER refused food. I called my mom and told her we would be latest best and tht we might not be able to make it at all. My poor guy was struggling to break a fever and was obviously unhappy. Right after I hung up the phone with her, he crawled out of his daddy's lap and walked right to me with a huge smile on his face (thankfully). Hmmmmm. He has been out of it for hours. All of a sudden, he's fine (thankfully). And just like that, he was all better (repeat thankfully).

We made it to dinner (thankfully on so many levels) and he didn't have another episode all day (a lot of people are thankful for this one). We had to leave a little early because he was exhausted after such a tiring day, but we made it and had a great time (thankfully).

I've never had a Thanksgiving where my blessings have been shoved in my face so blatantly. We have a healthy child. This was the first time this has ever happened. We have a wonderful family to spend Thanksgiving with. These things are forgotten when money gets tight or you start thing about all the things you would like to have and don't, but it's important to remember the basic things. health and family are easy to take for granted, but they are so very important.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day, however you chose to spend it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

When Baking Goes Wrong

I guess I should save this for tomorrow's Wordless Wednesday, but I couldn't resist.

See, what had happened was...I tried to bake pumpkin bread loaves for Robert's pot luck tomorrow. He wanted mini loaves and not 2 regular loaves. The recipe said it could make 6 loaves. We had 5 mini loaf tins. I tried to make the batter fit into the 5. No one ever informed me that you're only supposed to fill them up to the 3/4 mark. I was so proud that I made it work with 5. I did not make it work with 5, as you can see. I was sorely mistaken. I'm not even going to post a picture of what the oven looks like..yikes.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I Tripped...

And I fell. Now I'm getting help to get back to the me I know is there, deep down inside. I'm so thankful for those close to me that support me and love me no matter what.

Today I took the first dramatic steps towards treatment. I'm scared, but also excited to see all the vivid colors and laugh with my whole body. I'm so looking forward to those moments again.

This will never beat me. Never has. Never will.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Day of Fail

It started okay. Plans for a family brunch at my favorite restaurant. Then my step-dad couldn't make it. Then my husband didn't want to come because it would be all girls. Then an argument with the hubs. Rough start, but not a fail yet.

Brunch with mom and Gavin was awesome. Check one in the win column.

My mom and I took Gavin to get a haircut because we had a family photo session this afternoon. The last haircut at home didn't go well at all. Gavin had developed a fear of the clippers. So I warned the stylist and he predictably had a meltdown. So we ditched the clippers and went for the scissors. Still had a meltdown. It took my mom and I to hold him still and he still only got half a haircut because I couldn't take it anymore. This led to a huge tip because I felt so bad for the stylist. She obviously takes pride in her job and wanted to finish, which I understand, but it just wasn't happening. Yep, that would be a fail.

We get home after a little light shopping and I put Gavin down for a nap before the photo shoot. He's overtired so he fights it tooth and nail, but he finally goes down. Ten we have to wake him up to get ready for the photo shoot (he got over an hour of sleep. I didn't expect him to sleep so long). So then he's cranky. Great. At this point, I don't have much faith in the photo shoot going well, but hey, it's happening.

We show up to the studio and Gavin refuses to smile. Huge surprise there. So we decide to go outside. We've taken about 5 minutes worth of pictures when Gavin trips and slams his head into a rock. When he gets up (wailing, of course) there's a small bump on his head. We decide to go inside to get some ice on his head. By the time we get inside, the small bump has transformed into a HUGE knot. I've never seen anything like it. When we try to ice it, he flips. So we call it a wash and go home. I will be shocked if we get 2 good pictures out of the deal between him not smiling and it only lasting 5 minutes.

So, to recap, I come home with my poor baby boy with a huge knot on his head and a crooked, half done haircut and nothing to show for it.

I'd call that a fail day.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Eve Carson 5K

Today, two lovely ladies and I participated in walking the Eve Carson 5K. It was a chilly morning, but a really great time. I felt so proud to participate in such a great event. Eve was an incredible young woman and while I am saddened by her very tragic death, it was really moving to see so many people there supporting the things that she cared about so much. I was truly honored to be a part of it.

Right before the finish line, there were students holding up signs that read out a quote from Eve about staying strong to the end. It was such a great way to end the walk. See the three shadows?

Our completion time. Not last place, but damn close!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Y3W: Respect The Turkey

Dear Family With A Fully Decorated Christmas Yard,

I know you and your kids are super super excited about Christmas and everything that comes with it. I get it, I really do. However, you can't skip holidays. It's wrong and it messes up the flow. Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. Always has, always will.

It's unfair for those of us that are still scrambling around trying to accept the fact that a huge family holiday is coming up. We need the rehearsal dinner that is Thanksgiving. Please don't take this away from us. This is imperative.

In case I haven't made myself clear:

November = Thanksgiving

December = Christmas

So when you're putting up lights and singing carols in November, see the above chart and respect the g-d turkey!!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

It Was Bound To Happen

I knew when I took on this challenge, I would probably get to a point where I didn't have the energy or thought process to write a post. That day is today. I had a terrible day at work and I just don't have it in me to be anything but negative. So, I'm going to relax, watch some TV and start over tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

When Procrastination Makes You It's Bitch

Thst stack of bills that hasn't been looked at it because we have auto bill pay and it'll be fine....I think.

Those growing dust balls in the corner.

The waning pantry that is looking more pathetic by the moment.

The toilet that is...*yak*

The pile of dirty laundry that is 3 times as big as the amount of clean clothes.

The dentist and optamology appointments that I was supposed to reschedule months ago.

Did I mention the credit card and other bills? That alone.....

When you ignore all these things for too long they turn into monsters that keep you awake at night and, in my case, massive panic attacks.

Monday, November 14, 2011


It has been a doozie of a day. Too overwhelming and crazy to even begin to explain. S instead of detailing the ups and downs, I'm going to take the easy way out and talk about my first world problems, inspired by Rants From Mommyland:

My iPad won't let me make the blog reference above a link, so now I look like I'm not giving credit where credit is due.

Time Warner didn't believe me when I said I wanted to cancel my home phone service, so I have to pay an unexpected $20 on my cable bill.

My wifi at work asks me to validate my credentials every time I use my iPad, which curbs my web surfing time.

With household budget constraints, we can't afford kcups for a little while, so I have to actually put coffee grounds into the kcup instead of popping in the disposable one.

I keep forgetting to get white vinegar at the grocery store, so my Keurig hasnt gotten descaled, causing sub-par cups of coffee.

I dropped my new iPhone, and now it has a slight chip in the glass. I see it every time I look at my phone.

We only have one pair of Stride Rites and they don't go with all of Gavin's outfits.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

That Nagging Feeling

Lately, I've had a strange feeling. Something feels unsettled and off. I feel like something is going to change or shift. Like that weird calm before the storm. This feeling has created a huge spike in anxiety. All those tricks to keep me in check and stay positive haven't been working. I'm in this weird funk. It's so hard to explain. I can just say that it's interfering with my ability to enjoy what's right in front of me and that's not okay. I missed too much of Gavin and Robert when I was fighting the PPD/A monster and I won't let it happen again.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

When You Call Your Kid A Monkey.....

We have always called Gavin one of 4 M's: Munchkin, Meatball, Monster or Monkey, depending on his demeanor or mood. Usually he's a monkey because he's being mischievous and climbing on things.

This morning, Robert was nice enough to let me sleep in. Then I heard Gavin giggling his head off and Robert screaming "No...I said No...OH NOOOOO!!".

Apparently Gavin has taken his nickname to heart. While getting his diaper changed, Gavin reached down and got a couple handfuls of poo. Then he started smearing it on Roberts arm as he was trying to get some kind of control if the situation. Let's be honest. There's no controlling that kind of situation. Eventually it got cleaned up after poo was slung and Robert was scarred for life. I only regret that I didn't get to see it firsthand.

So, lesson learned and passed on to you readers: if you call a baby a monkey, he'll probably fling his poo at you.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Y3W: Go Tar Heels!

Today is Veterans Day (duh) and I would like to take a moment to thank all of our veterans and their families for their service, especially my husband Robert, who served in the Navy during the Persian Gulf War.

Its also the first game of the UNC basketball season and it happened on an aircraft carrier and the PRESIDENT was there. Could you get more patriotic? Me thinks not. Oh, and the boys in blue brought home the W and the trophy. What a great way to celebrate our armed forces and kick off not only the basketball season, but also the weekend.

In other good news, Wilson Ramos has been found alive. I couldn't be happier for his family and friends. I only hope that the pattern of kidnappings in Venezuela stops as soon as possible. I is deeply saddening and unacceptable. I hate that my family lives in a country that has to struggle with that reality.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Monsters Among Us

Ever since the news of the atrocity at Penn State broke, I've been saddened, dismayed and terrified. How could this happen? How could so many people let this happen for so long? I can't even wrap my head around it. My heart breaks every time I think about the children involved. To make things even more depressing, this happens more often than anyone would like to believe or admit.

I can't stand any conversation about this that involves athletics because that's not what this is about. This is about children being terribly abused and adults turning the other cheek.

Here's what I, and hopefully most, take away from this atrocity. When you see someone being hurt or wrong, stand up for them, especially if they can't stand up for themselves. Do the right thing. Let's take care of each other. It's hard enough out there.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Green Grass

Its always green...on the other side.

Lately I've been having a really hard time at work because my babe is sick and I really just want to be home with him. Throw in raging ovaries and general workplace dissatisfaction and you have a recipe for a wannabe stay at home mom. I've always been jealous of those ladies, but lately that green vision has been peaking.

There are things about work that I would miss. The constant adult interaction. The insurance. The bonus checks. However, there are so many things I'm missing at home. How's a girl to choose?

I know this tends to be a very polarizing issue on the interwebs, but the truth is, there is no "perfect" solution. Except for my one friend. Her MIL watches her kid 2 days a week so she can work an awesome sauce job. That's eating green grass all day friends.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Mommy Instincts

Gavin has had a persistent cough that has been hanging around for a lot longer than I would like. So I called the nurse line yesterday and based on the cough and his rapid breathing, they advised that we take him to the ER immediately as a precaution. The doctor took a look at him and said it was just a cold and gave him prednisone because it had been lingering. As she was getting ready to get our discharge papers together, the mom in me came out.

"he's had a cough for a really long time. Isn't pneumonia a concern at this point?"

This is big for me because I usually am quiet as a mouse at doctor appointments with doctors I don't know. Something in me told me I needed to ask though.

She replied, "he doesn't have a fever, so we can rule that out, but we can do a x-ray for your piece of mind"

I thanked her for the offer and told her I'd be taking her up on it. After 2 hours and about 3 meltdowns (we had to strap him to a table to get the x-ray), the doctor called me into a room to look at the images.

Long story short, the doctor was holding fast to her original diagnosis, but the radiologist saw early signs of pneumonia. The doctor offered to prescribe antibiotics if it would, once again, give me "peace of mind".

You bet your ass we'll take them!

She then had to nerve to say that she hopes that he doesn't have any adverse reactions. Look lady, you tried to brush us off as hypochondriacs and you were wrong. Don't try to save face by trying to scare me out of antibiotics that x-rays have proved my son may very well need to recover.

Mommy instincts rock.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

You Know You're A Parent When...

You receive a text from your husband that reads "Bring home wine and Desetin". Ahhhh, the joys of parenthood!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Like An Evil Turtle

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I was a snapping turtle. A mean one.

I managed to find fault with every single thing that Robert did today and I nearly lost it when Gavin fell and hurt himself, twice.

Days like today are a testament to how amazing my husband is. He knows I have bad days and he just let's me have them. He's awesome. Nothing witty and cute. He just rocks.

Friday, November 4, 2011

A Backyard!!!

We've always lived in apartments. We've always wanted to live in a house, but the timing has never been right, until now. My mom wanted to invest in real estate, we wanted to rent a house. So my mom put in a bid on the perfect house for our situation. A house that had been badly damaged in a fire and needed to be completely remodeled. The bid went in on the house in July and we still haven't closed because of a lot of red tape. The closing date has finally been set so we are starting to let ourselves get excited. We are hoping to move in this Spring! We (especially the dog) can't wait!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Division of Labor

I usually refrain from man bashing because I really don't have anything to complain about at the end of the day. Robert is a great husband and an even better father, but let's be honest, he's human. I'm human too. When you put two humans together and give them a baby, bills and stressful jobs, wells you know.

One the causes of conflict for us is household chores. After a lot of discussion, we decided that he would do laundry and I do kitchen. This worked for about a month. Then I got a good look at the laundry room. That just wasn't gonna work. Piles of clean clothes. Wet clothes in the washer for days. He didn't seem to understand that laundry meant all of it. As in you wash, dry, fold AND put away. Throwing clean clothes on top of the dryer is not the end of the cycle. That's the equivalent of me leaving the dishes in the dishwasher or taking them out and putting them all over the counters. So now I either nag him to do it or just do it myself. There has to be an easier way. He says he doesn't mind me reminding him everyday (ahem, nagging), but I DO!! There are plenty of things that I would rather do than remind him. I just want it DONE!!! As my friend observed, they had lives before we lived together and they survived. What happened? Its like they get married and regress back to small children....sigh...where's my pacifier?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Taking The Plunge

I am super bad with commitment. I love to set goals and then I get distracted. Kind of like a puppy in a field of butterflies. So I am taking a leap or plunge or dive or whatever by committing to blogging every. single. day. For a full month.

NaBloPoMo 2011

Stay tuned for a lot of nonsense and "ummmm, today was pretty boring".

Seriously though, I think it will be a good exercise in creating a habit and being expressive and honest here.

Let me know if you're participating so I can follow! I know that and are in on the action!