....here it is!!!
Before I put Gavin in daycare, I was full of the "what ifs" and to every single one, my mom and husband would respond with "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it". All my anxious moms out there will second me when I say that that is the last thing you want to hear when you're facing a hypothetical disaster!! So what if it's hypothetical? It's still a disaster I tell you! Well, all I can see is bridges. Examples include:
Bridge #1: Gavin gets his first cold because another kid at daycare was sick. He starts hacking and sniffling on Wednesday and I was so proud of myself when I stayed calm and continued going to work because there was no fever involved. I was so zen and cool. Super impressed. Maybe my mom was right. A little cold is no big deal. It won't be as bad as I imagined. Easy peasy bridge to cross.
Bridge #2: Friday morning as we're getting ready for daycare, I get a phone call from the woman who watches him. She is sick and daycare is closed. Well there's a huge fear come to life. I barely have enough sick days to begin with. I can't afford to start using them, but what choice do I have? I guess it's a sick day for me and Gavin. A little nervous that this will be a trend, but trying to keep a positive attitude. Still in the process of crossing this bridge.
Bridge #3: My husband has had terrible asthma since the day he was born, so it's always been a concern of ours that Gavin would inherit this. Halfway through our sick day I start to hear a wheeze. Oh shit. I call the pediatrician's office and they tell me we can come in that afternoon. The doctor hears a wheeze too and because of our family history, Gavin gets breathing treatments and steroids. Sitting in the doctor's office, I'm trying to put the brave and strong mommy face on, but it's next to impossible. All I can think of is the possible chronic disease that Gavin may have. Then my mind goes to all sorts of negative places that they have no business being; dark and seedy places that have a back alley entrance. The doctor tries to reassure me that he doesn't have asthma until there are 3 episodes of this. Until then, it's just wheezing. I give him his first treatment and take home our brand spanking new nebulizer (which is a post for later. I'll just say it includes a fish named Bubbles). That's a shaky and unstable bridge I just sprinted across as to not think about the fact that I was crossing a bridge.
Bridge #4: You thought it was over, didn't you? Nope, it gets even better. Yesterday, the breathing treatments are only working for a couple hours and giving my kid breathing treatments every 2 hours just isn't an option for me. So I call the nurse line and tell them what's going on. Turns out he's breathing faster than they're comfortable with and based on his age and family history, this warrants a trip to the ER. Yep, his first trip to the ER. Every mom's nightmare. So we pack in the car and go to the ER where they tell us he has a fever. Now this a testament to my rock star kid because he wasn't acting uncomfortable or upset or lethargic AT ALL. Rock star. Just saying. Anyway, they see that he is working a little harder than he should to breathe and that his O2 levels are a little low, but he's right on the cusp of doing anything about it. They monitor him for a few hours and decide not to admit him and let him fight it off at home. Side note: I find out my employer has neglected to deposit those HSA funds they promised so the copay comes out of our pocket, for now. Really not what I wanted to find out on my way out of the ER with my baby that's having trouble breathing. I'm pretty sure I could have spit fire at that point. So, bridge crossed. It sucked, but we made it.
Bridge# 5: You're still reading? Good for you! This one is short and more of a "Surprise!" than a bridge. While we were in the ER, Gavin's caretaker called us. I call her back this morning and she wanted us to know that half the kids in day care have been diagnosed with RSV. Well if that's not the cherry on top, I don't know what is...
How about this for a bumper sticker?:
Motherhood is just crossing a shit ton of scary ass bridges
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