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Friday, February 4, 2011

The Time My Husband Almost Killed My Son

The first, but I'm sure not the last.

Gavin is enduring his first cold. Inevitable seeing as how he is in day care full time. So on Wednesday my husband, who has had breathing problems his whole life, starts freaking out because Gavin is developing a cough and a wheeze. He immediately rushes for the Tylenol. I explain to him (because I can see that he is in the parent freak out mode which means all common sense has gone out the window) Tylenol is for fevers and pains, not for chest congestion or cough. I also explain that there is nothing to give a 5 month old with a cough, he just has to work through it. He looks at me like he understands but doesn't like it. That's fine.

Fast forward to Wednesday evening. I am on my way home from my after work doctor's appointment and I call my mom:

Mom: "Don't freak out. Robert almost gave Gavin honey elixir"

Me: "HE WHAT?!?!"

Mom: "Don't freak out. He didn't give it to him, he just bought it and I called the house looking for you and I told him he couldn't give it to him. Don't freak out. He didn't give it to him."

Me: "I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!! WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?"

....this continues for another few minutes.

When I get home I'm relatively calm, considering. I do the usual "how was your day" day and then I bring it up. "So what's this I hear about honey elixir?". He turns bright red and immediately starts blabbing out excuses and apologies. Wow, it sounds like my husband is terrified of me. He really isn't, at least I don't think he is.

Anyway, he starts reading off of the box aloud in an effort to prove how he could make such a simple mistake. I tell him not to bother because on the front of the box it clearly says that it is for children 12 months and older. He says not it also says it's all natural/non-medication. I ask him if he's read the back of the box. He says of course he did! He's expecting the token "do not use without consulting physician" like the Tylenol. Instead he says (out loud!) "Do not use in children younger than 12 months because of the risk of..... botulism....oh shit"

Ooops.

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